Awakening from a deep winter’s sleep.

How awesome this feels to be relaunching this site for Women on International Women’s Day 2018.

Welcome, sisters. Welcome back. Where ever your soul finds you. We are all together.

~

The Metamorphosis of Wild Mountain Matrona.

She has birthed, she has lived, she has loved, she has lost, and she has grown.

She is evolving.

Please let me explain.

My intention when I started this project was to create the book I was hoping to find. The words of wisdom I longed to read. Like a conversation with a caring big sister, wise older woman, thoughtful spiritual guide, or an intimate best friend, I was looking for a tool to help me understand what I was going through and who I was becoming. A light through the tunnel of the great transformation.  A voice of reason I could turn to when I knew not to whom else to turn, and going alone seemed way too hard. 

I was beginning Menopause. Ohhhh… scary, right? Well actually, yes. But only because it felt like stepping into the unknown. I know that doesn’t make sense. How could something that is and always was a part of the feminine cycle of life be so mysterious?

Something deep within me told me this wasn’t a time to be shamed or sheltered, but rather a powerful rite of passage to be savored, shared and celebrated. That said, I had no one to share with. No one shared this perspective – or at least, not that I knew of overtly. Likewise, that savoring and celebrating part seemed somewhat impossible since I was trying to understand this process more through an intellectual perspective, as in biological, chemical, and medical reasoning, rather than as a spiritual journey, an age old rite of passage, an inner transformation, and an intuitive expression experienced from a deeper level of understanding.

Be her now.

Right. I was a long ways away from understanding all that when this first started.

As my menopause evolved (for this rite of passage is not instant, but long and mysterious with shady borders and any random bits of clarity lurking in the shadows), so the story evolved, you could say, from being an exploration of what I was experiencing and trying to find the answers I thought I needed now, to a broader look, a bigger picture. As I explored the mystery of this Rite of Passage I was moving through, I found myself opening to a greater understanding of the feminine nature within us all.  

This wasn’t going to be a quick fix after all. No bandaid for a broken leg. No miracle one shot deal to get me through this and have it all behind. In time, I learned that’s actually the point. It does take time. Because it’s a major life transformation that affects our inner, outer, social, sexual and spiritual being. So why rush it? Why not fully experience it instead?

And so I began to dig deep on one hand, and reach out, to ask, to search on the other. I committed to fully experience this wild ride – this mysterious, intense, at once joyous and treacherous, frightening and wonderfully exciting stage of life. Such is the powerful path to becoming the mighty Matriarch. Alas, that path is unique for each of us. So I can’t tell you exactly how it’s going to be or was for you. I can only tell you how it was for me. And with these words, hopefully support, encourage and empower you in your own wild ride.

On a road trip recently, I met a woman who at first seemed like the last sort from whom I’d draw deep wisdom. Grey hair pulled back into a tidy bud, and a floral shirt buttoned high over her generous bosom, she appeared straight laced and conservative in appearance, in stark contrast to my torn jeans and tattoos. Could she be so wise and worldly as to share some tantalizing tidbit with my wild mind? Hellya. Lesson learned (again and again) to get over stereotypes, assumptions, judgments and criticism and be brave enough to live with an open mind and heart. 

She told me about this bumper sticker she had pasted onto the inside of her truck door. It read:

It’s not the destination. It’s the journey.

A good reminder. For a road trip. For life. And certainly, for Menopause.

Those who think life is a smooth ride, and it’s all about Being There (wherever that proverbial “There” may be), are in for a big shock. I know. I’m one of them. Surprise! Menopause just may be one of those major transformations or evolutionary stages that sweeps us off our feet, blows us through the air in some raging storm, and settles us back down in some Kansas we never new before.

For now, let’s start by pulling back the curtains, throwing open the windows and taking a bright, fresh look at this powerful point in life. Let the sun shine where it usually won’t! It’s time we stopped treating Menopause as if it were taboo, and started seeing the normal, natural and beautiful within the process and within ourselves. Let’s take a deep, personal journey together through this great transformation. What it is, what it feels like to go through it, what it means to make it through, what to expect in someone else. Not to fear it, nor to control it, but to celebrate it. 

And so, as I tend to do… I sat down and started writing. Where the pen led me, well, that’s what I’m going to start sharing here and now.

When I’m done (if we ever truly finish), there’s going to be a lot here. The manuscript I wrote is four hundred pages long. Yeah, I know, I’ve been told: I need to cut it back. In the meanwhile, I’m going to share it here with you. Maybe it will take you a year to slowly (and I shall hope, savoringly) work your way through the posts and pages as you work your way through your transformation. Maybe you’ll skip around between these pages as you find the time and desire, opening to a bit of wisdom, humor or understanding in whatever words calls to you. Or maybe when I’m done, you’ll read it all in one sitting, like a wild all-nighter with your BFF. Whatever works well for you. That’s an important understanding that this whole process drums into us. There’s no one right way. For each of us, there is only our own way. This then is also a journey in discovering our own ways. And along the way, uncovering our deeper selves, our higher selves, our true selves.

This isn’t a guide to give you all the answers and prescribe a painless path of getting through what may feel like a rough time. Sorry. There are plenty of others claiming that. But that didn’t work for me. So if you too are interested in more than just how to “get through” the great transformations of life, may this site serve to encourage and empower you through the metamorphosis. Though initially written to and for women approaching, in the throes, or reflecting back on the wild ride you just went through and still want to make more sense of it… it also may serve to support partners, friends and family interested in understanding the great mystery that Woman seems to be.

~

Through the process of putting this information together, I kept coming back to this: I was looking for answers no one could give me. I had to find out for myself. It’s a solitary journey on one hand, and universal on the other. A time of self discovery, and profound inner change when we transform from who we were into who we are. A rite of passage extended over a period of a year or years, with boundaries and borders vague. We are left to find out for ourselves. It’s the only way. So why do I share this with you now? Because of that universal part. Because it’s a part of us all. Because too many leave the questions unanswered and the transformation incomplete and the process misunderstood. Because too many of us feel alone through this life transformation, when what we could be experiencing is the discovery of our place more completely, a part of the whole. Because the more we talk about it, open the dialogue, the more we honor, the more we understand. Ourselves, our sisters, our mothers, our women, our feminine side. Because my hope is to encourage you, empower you, to celebrate and enjoy this beautiful metamorphosis!

Please join me now then on this journey of diving deep with Her and discovering the wise, wild, wonderful ways of Women.

 

Before we awaken, we must sleep. The greater the awakening, the deeper the sleep. Welcome your deep slumber, your time of darkness, your dormancy and hibernation, your time enwrapped in the cocoon.

Welcome the winter within.

And now we awaken, together.

Rise, sister, rise!